found my way back to the blog, maybe

Playing with new technology can be fun and frustrating at the same time. I thought I found an easier way to do things, but, of course nothing ever turns out like it should.

I did at least figure out how to post on here again, after about 20 minutes of fumbling around, but it has drained the energy and motivation to do more than this.

too many dreams

Well, my sleeping dreams returned, and have been some strange ones! Waking dreams have also been plentiful and I am happy to report those are fairly normal, even if more delusional than is perhaps healthy.

I wanted to journal here often, yet have found many excuses not to. May continue later, may not, time will tell.

No time to dream today!

Perhaps no energy to dream today would be a better way of putting it. As I wonder when and how I lost dreams over the years, I think energy and time both play an important part.

When the majority of my time is devoted to getting things done, daydreaming cannot be allowed. Stay on target! If I am at least somewhat functional, I have to push and hurry to complete tasks before my body decides to go on strike again. Getting through the moment is all I can concentrate on and often I will pay dearly for it later.

Which leads to the energy issue. After doing as much as I can, and sometimes more than I should, exhaustion sets in. I think my body is so focused on rest and recovery that it refuses access to dreams during sleep. If this is the case, I do not mind it so much since I like to think it is repairing some damage to prevent more short circuits in the wiring.

Also, I do still have dreams when I sleep sometimes. Some have argued that I always dream and simply do not remember, I honestly can't debate that without research and sleep studies but my dreams, or memories of them, have significantly changed in recent years.

I'm not sure if I can do anything about dream quality during sleep, but I will be working to balance time and energy better.

We all need to dream...

   Some may disagree with that, and all are entitiled to opinions, this is mine. Whether REM dreams while asleep, daydreaming while awake, or visions of future plans and goals, I believe we need to dream in some form. Not as basic and necessary as water, oxygen, and food, but still essential to good health.

This is where my dreams will be. There will likely also be a good amount of venting in the form of crazed rants, and some true happy moments as well, sprinkled among the fiction of my mind. I am interested to see how this turns out since the idea of living vicariously through my imagination makes me feel quite silly... but somewhere I lost my dreams and I need to find them again.